Strange-ee

So Danny-teacher gave his best class the choice between playing a game, watching the recent holiday special of The Simpsons, or discussing the recent Korea-Malaysia FTA meeting.

Free trade agreement it is, then....

These kids are seriously strange-ee

In between finals...

My students had 50 mins between finals, so they put that time to good use...

 

It's good to see they're still kids...

Vote for HOPE!

Hey readers! I would consider it a solid if you voted for HOPE (Helping Others Prosper through English) on this website. The charity provides free classes for orphans and underprivileged kids. Most of these kids don’t even have a foreign teacher at their schools because of where they happen to live.

http://10magazine.asia/2010/12/10/vote-which-charity/

10 Reasons *THIS* School Needs a Faculty Bathroom!!!

My worst nightmare came true when I was told there was no faculty bathroom at our school. Oh hells to the no! Here we go again...

10) When you enter the bathroom, it is cute when a Kringlish high school kid who is brushing his teeth bows and says "Annyeong Haseyo." It is not cute when said Kringlish kid hits you in the face with toothpaste spittle.

9) When teacher is at the urinal, it is not the appropriate time to ask him about the proper MLA citation format of an unpublished survey. Nine out of ten Kringlish teachers agree.

8) While it is true that teacher has crotch-tag immunity, teacher doesn't enjoy watching it go down, especially when he’s waiting in line for the urinal.

7) That little bastard beat me to the sit toilet again!

6) OMG, it's like winning the fucking lottery if there happens to be any toilet paper left.

5) Slipping a review of Grown Ups under the toilet stall so teacher can proof read it before it goes to the editors of the school paper is not in good form. It is also not in good form to write a mostly positive review of Grown Ups.

4) After exiting the squat stall, one student lets out the generic Korean sound of surprise (something like the sound a donkey would make if you jab in the gut with a sharp stick) and then asks, “Teacher, you can go to the bathroom like a Korean?” And I thought their endless fascination over my chopstick mastery was annoying!

3) Good lord, please tell me that the white stuff on the ground isn't what I think it is. It is a freaking boarding school, and the kids need to "let off steam” somewhere, but do I need to step in it?

2) In between periods, teacher walked in on KY applying his bacne (or do you spell it backne?) medication!!!!

1) And the winner of most awkward urinal small-talk question ever is..."Teacher, are Americans really big?"

Kamsahamnida and goodnight!!

Déjà is a bitch…

I got asked the dreaded question again...

"Teacher, are you satisfied with your face?"

At least my students are here at the advanced boarding school, so she didn't say teachah.

Exquisite Corpse #3: Jelly Babies

Wow, if you haven't noticed, there has been a trend with this class.  For some reason, my kids really like menacing things made out of jelly.  Enter, the jelly baby...

Her hands were shaking. She couldn't believe what she had just seen...

[1]The words didn't come out of her mouth. She just couldn't describe what she had just seen. It had long sharply armed legs likes spiders. It's body stood up on top of those creepy legs. Surrounded by blue flames, or some kind of ice or crystal that had shape of burning flames. Godlike she would describe. But all of a sudden, when she tried to yell out what she had just seen, she just wasn't able to describe what it was.

[2]It was miserable view that she had seen. She even couldn't describe what it was. However, she had to yell out and let people notice. "Hey!!!" she cried, but just her echo was repeated her saying. "Here's something! I can't say what it is, but please come here" she scramed.

[3]As she cried out for more than an hour, people started to notice. Many people came to see what was that creature she couldn't even described. But everyone else knew what it was. Then she was confused because everything wasn't going right as she alway thought. Something was wrong with the world.

[4]She began to hear people screaming from everywhere. The undescribable object began to mutate with disgusting slimy sounds. Within minutes, it took its new form. It has distinguishable arms, hands, a big fat body, legs, feet, and also a head. There was something weird about it. It was colourful. It was a big jelly baby.

[5]"OMG!" she said. "What is that? That's really weird! It's a jelly baby!" she said. Big jelly baby with various colors. Walked slowly as it walked it made strange sound. Army arrived and shout their most powerful missiles. But jelly baby reflected all the attacks with its hand and most of Army died. "No way, we can't kill with missiles" she cried.

[6]Desperate, she ran for her life. This alien like jelly creature (so called as jelly baby) was overthrowing whole country to chaos. In fact, there wasn't just one, it was several! Colossal creatures destroyed everything behind. After a while, when she turned around top of hill, all she could see was end of the world.

[7]So she decided to marry the head jelly baby. "Will you marry me...Baby" she asked. The jelly baby accepted and they had many jelly baby-babies. They ruled the world in a giant jelly castle and destroyed anyone that got in their way.

********************

I'd like to think that this one is a sequel...

"Well, it's about time," she thinks as the plane pulls away from the gate...

[1]She thinks about her mother who is boarding in the plane. Sun is sunny and the wind touches her face like her mother's hands. Unlike the clear sky, her heart is gloomy because she can't see her mom again for several months.

[2]Thinking of her mother, her heart sank. Maybe this wasn't a good plan from the very beginning. Still, she planned this all out, there should be no regret except missing her mother for several months. "I guess there is no turning back," she murmured as plane slowly moved.

[3]But in all of a sudden, a streak of white gush hit the moving plane. In just a blink, the plane was blown to piece with bright orange flames and parts of the plane were flying all over the place My instinct told me that this was an attack. I soon woke up from surprise and saw a man covered up with black holding an enormous rocket launcher.

[4]He quickly thought "Is this man the guy who shot down that plane?" But I couldn't asure of anything since I saw nothing. What if he is the man? What if he is just a soldier? What if he is a FBI agent? So many things came up to my mind that I couldn't even make a simple decision.

[5]So I didn't make any decision and left the place. "So, what should I do from now?" I went to a coffee shop and ordered a cup of milk coffee. Suddenly someone sat beside me and asked, why don't you apply to FBI? You look like a FBI agent!" And I said yes because I was boring [AHHHHHHHHHHH This is my biggest pet-pev as an Englishee techach].

[6]When I finally settled in the FBI office, a woman startled me by sitting next to me and asked, "This is a secret. We really want you in our agency." So I asked who she was and found out that she was from the CIA. Again, I said "sure" and I simply promoted to head director of the CIA. But my mission was to capture the notorious jelly baby, which was destroying the whole of America.

[7]First I didn't know what to do but I soon figured out that the jelly baby is attacking department store a lot, so I figured out that the jelly baby was eating gummy bear, so I thought "what if I get the jelly baby a job at the gummy bear factory!!! After a few year the jelly baby (now a jelly adult) became the CEO of the gummy bear company.

Exquisite Corpse #2

Here's another one from my Exquisite Corpse lesson.  I guess I should have explained to them that they didn't need to be so literal about the corpse part...

"You had better run!" Mark yelled to the other boy...

[1]because there was a zombie behind him.  Sadly the boy didn't react in time and the boy was bitten into like a crunchy bacon.  Mark turned the other way and head toward the only place that would be safe...

[2]Since there were zombies everywhere Mark could only think of only one place where he can avoid zombies, Department Store.  He figured out that he saw many zombie movies and quite a lot of characters picked the pace to hide because there were everything that people needs to survive.  Thinking all this Mark headed to a closest department store he knew.

[3]So, he ran direct to the department store he knew.  The door was locked and thus he entered through the window.  In the store, everything was calm and quiet.  He thought that he made a great choice.  He can get food and clothes in there.  Walking alone he found some red liquid in the end of the store.  "No way, zombies can get into here," he thought and ran to it.  What he found was blood, he expected and dead body.

[4]The dead body his brother Woo-seok.  "You are all dead," he yelled at the top of lungs.  He vowed to killing every last zombie in the department store.  Little did he know he had 30 seconds to live...

[5]Gas in pipelines was about to explode due to high pressure between pipes.  Not knowing this, he grabbed a shotgun and aimed to blow up zombies trying to attack department store.  Smell of gas filled the air, and just before he reached entrance, he smelled the gas and recognized one of zombie have broke pipelines.  Few seconds later, flames and burning dead (or undead) bodies went what he could just see.  As his breath slowly gone away.

[6]Everything was on fire, cars, the department store, babies, zombies, and peoples.  There was nothing left for alives.  The city became a silent pace where it is known as "left for dead." This story became a base line for the FPS game "left for dead."

[7]But the game "Left fro dead" turned out to be a major fiasco.  Because 2 months later, North Korea developed a new type of zombies--"The Jelly Zombies."  They were created from the existing undead that were left in the destroyed world.  But as there was always good when evil exists, the forces from outer space comes to Earth to kill off all North Koreans and the jelly zombies.  They were the legendary gummy bears and they brought peace back to our planet.